Since retirement, like most of my friends I have scaled back on the cost of the presents I give. Many gifts are now home-made and I am happy that many of the gifts I receive are edible or maybe pots of bulbs to bring colour to my house.
This year, however, I've given each of my friends a small extra present. A loo roll. With this message attached.
It is possible that you are wondering why I have given you a loo roll for Christmas. It is even possible that you regard this gift as the final proof that I have lost my marbles. You may be right.
However, this paper has been made by a company called “Who gives a crap?” which gives half of its profits to sanitation projects in the Third World. This means that each time you use this paper for your comfort you are not only saving the world’s natural resources, you are helping to save precious human lives.
So do enjoy my gift. And leave me to worry about my marbles.
In my sitting room a cow has now arrived at the stable. The shepherd must now be reckoned to be a herdsman. He has a choice between lamb chops and rump steak. If he chooses either I will barbecue him. He has been warned.
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